


"I can't smell anything over your stupid Axe body spray."

by Ship_On_The_Sea



Series: haha dnf works go brrrrr [9]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anyways, Can you guess who it is?, Gen, Hogwarts AU, I didn't know Philza's last name was Watson??, M/M, about two people arguing bc they can't smell a love potion bc, also an og mcyter is a minor character in this, also sbi makes an appearance bc I thought it would be hilarious, based off that one old tumblr post I saw literal years ago, i had a blast writing this, shipping not the biggest point but it's still in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 11:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27970067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ship_On_The_Sea/pseuds/Ship_On_The_Sea
Summary: That moment when your and your bestie are making a love potion but all you smell is their goddamn cologne...(aka the Hogwarts au nobody asked for, featuring Minecraft Youtubers and being denser than a brick)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: haha dnf works go brrrrr [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799110
Comments: 80
Kudos: 701
Collections: Best of DreamNotFound, Best of DreamNotFound AU's





	"I can't smell anything over your stupid Axe body spray."

**Author's Note:**

> Listen I just remembered the prompt randomly, thought about a funny scene, and now here I am with a short fic about it.  
> This was my first time writing in sbi dynamics, hope I got them accurate enough lmao. Also I wanna start throwing in more mcyters into these fics that play on the smp like Quackity and Puffy and Sam because they are pog people, but if I hear any of them are uncomfy with being in fics I'll yeet them out quick lmao
> 
> Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy, and please take this as an appetizer bc I'm working on another wip rn and I hope it'll be finished soon!

Students began filling lazily into the classroom that felt more like a cathedral, the potions professor missing from his desk, replaced with an orange tabby cat sitting calmly on top of the wooden desk.

By then, Dream had learned not to question strange occurrences like the one happening currently, and casually took a seat beside George, who had gotten there before him.

“Why the cat?” George asked aloud towards him, and Dream shrugged, glancing at the textbook his best friend was pulling out of his bag.

“I have no idea.”

A shrill gasp towards the front of the room caught Dream’s attention, and he shifted his gaze to watch Niki enter the class with Puffy in tow, and watched the two girls coo over the cat on the desk, who frankly looked startled at the attention.

The two classmates quickly settled and hurried to their seats as more and more people walked into the room, and by the time the classroom had settled, the potions professor was still nowhere to be seen.

“Uhm, anyone know where Philza went?” someone behind Dream asked, the Slytherin too comfortable with his head cradled in his hand to turn around to see who it was.

“I think he-” someone else started to reply, but they were interrupted by a commotion in the front of the classroom, which was the orange cat abruptly turning into a human, causing many to flinch, a few to yelp, and a student to fall out of his seat from fright, the student being George.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to frighten you!” the cat-turned-human apologized to George with concern while Dream struggled not to wheeze, slapping his palm against the table. George simply waved the man off with I small “I’m alright”, and once he got back into his seat, the stranger turned his attention to the full class.

“Again, sorry for the fright to everyone,” he quickly began, “But I’m your substitute for today! Professor Philza sadly couldn’t be here today, since he had to take one of his younger boys to the infirmary earlier today-”

“Oh! He had to take Tommy!” came a young voice from the very back of the class, and Dream turned around to see Tubbo sitting in one of the seats, despite being too young to be a student. “It’s because he got into a fight with a second-year for calling Wilbur a bad word!”

The substitute, a lanky man with curly brown hair, stood awkwardly for a number of seconds, trying to process the presence of Tubbo.

“Mr. Tubbo,” he cautiously began, “is Philza aware you’re in here?”

“Don’t worry prof, I got him.” Dream didn’t need to turn around to identify the new voice as Techno’s, who had been sitting to Tubbo’s left.

“Ah! Wonderful-”

“Yoooo wait a minute!” someone from Dream’s left suddenly yelled, the culprit being Schlatt, and the poor substitute sighed before answering.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Aren’t you married to one of the teachers?”  
  
The man broke into a genuine smile. “I am, yes. I’m married to one of the O.W.Ls professors-”  
  
“WAIT,” Tubbo once again interrupted, “Is it the one that can transform into a duck?! Wilbur has her class, he calls her Mrs. Ducky!” A few snickers and giggles erupted amongst the class, Dream hiding another wheeze and the sub stifling a laugh of his own.  
  
“Yes,” he answered with a voice full of mirth and admiration, “‘Mrs. Ducky’ is my wife.”

“Mr. Cat!” Tubbo called out excitedly, and Techno did the honors of giving the substitute a break by excusing them both to go to the infirmary.

“Anyways,” the substitute laughed lightly, “What do you guys think about Amortentia?”

“The love potion?” Niki asked.

“Oh wait,  _ that’s _ what it’s called?” Quackity called from behind Niki.  
  
“Yeah, it’s the strongest love potion in the world.”

At the same time of their small conversation, Dream scrunched his nose up at the topic of Amortentia, finding the concept of a love potion too sappy for him.

“What, too edgy for love?” he heard George tease from beside him, and Dream dramatically rolled his eyes before the substitute called for the class’s attention once more.

“Before you all ask, no, we’re not making Amortentia,” he clarified. “We are going to make a subversion of it, however. It’ll be just like the real thing, except if you drink it there won’t be any consequences.” The disappointed groans of a few were pointedly ignored during a break in the teacher’s instructions. “Now, I’ll be splitting you off into pairs…”

Normally, Dream and George did well when paired together for projects. The only exception? Potions. Every time the two were forced to work together, Dream’s fast and casual tendencies would clash into a trainwreck with George’s slow and meticulous pace, an argument always inevitable. 

So usually, Philza would pair the two with other students, knowing the catastrophe waiting to happen if he didn’t. However, since Philza wasn’t there…

“If you don’t open your textbook and follow the recipe I’m going to hit you,” George threatened as the two prepared to make their potion. Dream huffed in amusement at the threat, unsure if his friend was serious or not. Based on past experiences, there was a fifty-fifty chance he was being truthful.

“Oh c’mon,” Dream replied, smiling mischievously, “it’s not like this is for a grade.”

“This will be a quiz grade, by the way,” the substitute suddenly clarified from the front of the room, and George laughed smugly at Dream, who half-heartedly shoved him in return.  


* * *

It took all but ten minutes before the two third-years were beginning to bicker at each other over the potion after George had spent the last eight safeguarding the cauldron from Dream’s reach, and Dream having dropped a handful of ground-up roots into the liquid as soon as George had turned his back to answer a question Sam had directed towards him.

“I know what I’m doing, George!” Dream defended himself.

“But the textbook-” George tried to retort, but was interrupted.

“Was written three hundred years ago and is so outdated the text is barely illegible!” There was really no reason for either of them to yell, the rest of the class conversing casually and at respectful volumes, but the two of them continued to holler at each other as if they were standing on opposite ends of a quidditch field.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s outdated, it still works!”  
  
“But the way we just did it saves time and ingredients!”  
  
“And how would you know?!”

“Because I do my research!”

“Hey, let’s relax you two,” suddenly came softly from the substitute, who had snuck up on the two of them, gently placing his hands on their shoulders to settle them. Immediately, Dream and George shut their mouths and looked towards the teacher, who smiled softly at them with kindness.

“How about before we accuse someone of ruining a potion, we check to see if it’s actually been ruined first?”  
  
“I-” George attempted to argue, but was shushed quickly.

“You don’t know if your partner’s ruined it, you’ve never made this potion before.” George deflated, knowing the substitute was right, and Dream smiled cockily in victory, before the substitute continued speaking. “ _ I _ have made this potion many times before, though.”

The pause unsettled both of them.

“And?” Dream asked.

“The color is perfect, so I’m assuming you two did correct,” he revealed, smiling, and Dream barked out a loud “HA” as George flushed pink and looked away in embarrassment. “We need to smell it, though, to make sure.”

“Smell it?” George and Dream parroted simultaneously, and glanced at each other in mock fury, the fighting between them having suddenly dispersed as if it never occurred.

“Yes, smell it,” the substitute clarified, “Like the Amortentia potion, this one smells different for every person, supposedly smelling like the person they’re subconsciously in love with.” As if to demonstrate, he dipped his head towards the swirling liquid in the cauldron and sniffed at the potion, before smiling wider and nodding at the two.   
“I’m smelling my wife’s shampoo, so it’s correct.” Dream responded with a victorious fist-pump and loud laugh, George rolling his eyes and shaking his head in a refusal to admit his partner had been right all along.

“I’m still not trusting you with potion-making,” George said as soon as the teacher left them, crossing his arms grumpily. “You just got lucky this time.”  
  
“Oh c’mon Georgie,” Dream whined, “You’re just butthurt because of that one time I accidentally messed it up and you almost got covered in foam.”

“I’m  _ traumatized _ from it, what do you expect!?” Dream wheezed at the exaggerated reply, before his attention suddenly turned to the potion sitting beside them.

“Hey, wanna test the potion out?” 

“The professor said drinking it doesn’t do anything, though.”

“No, just smell it! I wanna know what you smell.”

“Ohhh.” Becoming curious, George dipped his head towards the bluish-looking liquid and took a whiff, Dream ducking his head and doing the same.

Their heads both came up with unamused expressions, their noses scrunched up.  
  
“How much mouthwash did you use this morning?” Dream asked, accusing. “I can’t smell anything over it.”  
  
“I should be asking you the same question,” George replied, eyes narrowing suspiciously, “I can’t smell anything over your stupid Axe body spray.”

“Hey! I barely put any on this morning!”

“Oh yeah?! If I go ask Schlatt right now how much you sprayed on yourself would he say the same?!”

“You know he likes to lie!”

Slowly, the class grew aware of the two of them beginning another argument, which was surprising, since they’d already met their daily quota for bickering. And as each student individually tuned in, they slowly put two and two together and could only watch, dumbfounded, as they failed to grow aware of their situation. Even when Techno and Tubbo had returned, they were quickly able to figure everything out.

The substitute only observed from the sidelines, unsure if he should step in or not.

“I hate that stupid scent anyways, I don’t know why you use it!”  
  
“Because  _ I _ like it?!”

“But it’s so strong; I can’t smell the potion because of it!” 

“Well the same goes for your dumb minty mouthwash!”  
  
“It’s not even a strong scent, I don’t know how you’re even able to smell it!”

“Dream! George!” Tubbo was suddenly calling at them, swatting away Techno’s hands that were trying to restrain him from speaking, ignoring his quiet warnings to shut up. “Have you considered the reason you’re smelling each other when sniffing the potion is because you two are in love with each other?”

The whole room froze. It grew dead silent as everyone’s eyes flickered from Tubbo and onto Dream and George, who had turned to look at each other, mortified. The silence was deafening, the only noise the ticking of a clock on the wall.

Five ticks passed before a reply was finally made, which was Dream beginning to laugh.

“HAHA!” he barked out, “As if!”  
  
“That was the worst suggestion I’ve ever heard, Tubbo,” George said, beginning to laugh as well. Slowly, the rest of the class joined in as well; Not because they thought Tubbo’s suggestion was unreasonable, but because the two of them were some of the densest people they’ve ever met.

The substitute sighed into his hands, trying not to laugh, being reminded of past memories. He silently hoped that the two would one day figure it out, and would look back on the day’s events and laugh until their stomachs began to hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> Were you able to guess who the substitute is? 2013 me is thrashing in her grave rn

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [MCYT Hogwarts AU (they r friends!)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28123959) by [Bluemedallion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluemedallion/pseuds/Bluemedallion)




End file.
